Sunday, April 12, 2009

I wrote advertisment for my company on a catalogue, so could you please help me to correct or make it better?

 Established in 2003


 Produce tissue cultured plantlets in vitro


Laboratory with total area of 2000 m2 was equipped with modern facilities; capacity of 7.000.000 plantlets per year.


Nursery with total area of 1 hectare, capacity of 400.000 plantlets/ month


 Produce, purchase cut flowers for export


Cool store and packing firm with the total area of more than 1500 m2; capacity of 2.000.000 stems per month


 Preserved flowers


Producing firm with total area of 1000 m2, capacity of 400.000 stems per month


 Trading, imporiting and exporting new flower varieties


Main products


 Flower plantlets and bulbs: Lilium, Gerbera, Limonium, Chrysanthemum, Indoor plants


 Cut flowers: Lilium, Carnation, Rose, Hydrangea, chrysanthemum, cut foliages


 Preserved flowers: Rose, carnation, chrysanthemum , Hydrangea, Cymbidium, cut foliages


Markets:


Japan, Indonesia, Russia, New Zealand, The Netherlands, Belgium, Viet Nam, etc

I wrote advertisment for my company on a catalogue, so could you please help me to correct or make it better?
Hmm, I think that you have included way too much detail for an advertising feature. Obviously, it depends on where your ad is to be placed. If it goes in a general publication, then yes it is way too detailed. If it goes into a specialist journal, it is OK but stilla little wordy.





Ads are to get people interested in your company and it%26#039;s products. You%26#039;ve got to grab their attention and keep it. Think what the main issues are and stick to them. Is there anything your company does that others don%26#039;t? Does your company offer better value for money than elsewhere? Do you provide a very high quality service over and above the normal level expected? These are the things that will get you noticed above the others.





Hope this helps! If you did just want the above ad checking over and correcting (grammatically and spelling wise) please feel free to email me!
Reply:it%26#039;s good enough..


it%26#039;s getting me already interested in ur organization, and my country is not even listed in ur market...


bravo..


way to go..
Reply:Pressure - Force, Compel, coerce


Well matured - Aged


Neglect - disused, derelict, abandoned, uncared for, ignored





Mind you, your ad looks ok to me!! although shouldn%26#039;t it read %26#039;importing%26#039; instead of imporiting??
Reply:Hi,


You know it is hard to understand what is a category you aim to. Do you want to sell your company? If you want to sell flowers then I think this advertisement does not work well.


I guess you look for B2B. Then probably you might want to mention a yearly turnover, market share, competitive prices and payment conditions - something what is gonna be good for your buyer/client. But flowers usually grow not produce, maybe I am wrong.



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